Monday, March 30, 2009

Such a Worry Wort

photo by cesar bojorquez
So today, I got up, threw up once in the morning, then went on about my day. I only had one or two waves of nausea all day long. I should be happy, right? Nope. Now I'm scared. I'm afraid that something is wrong with the baby and it made my nausea go away prematurely. Now how's that for ironic? When I'm puking my guts out, I'm praying for it to pass and when I'm feeling better, I'm wishing I felt sick because I'm afraid it's a bad sign. I have issues.
I also had a dream last night that I began to bleed. In my dream, I tried to call my doctor, but the phone wouldn't work. No matter which buttons I pushed, I couldn't get the right number to dial. The dream scared me because I had a dream about bleeding two days before I started spotting with the baby I lost. Now I'm afraid it's a bad sign.
My next ultrasound is scheduled for this coming Wednesday, April 1st at 4 pm. At that point, I will be 10 weeks, 6 days (I'm 10 weeks, 4 days today). I'm nervous that I'm going to get bad news. I have no signs or symptoms of miscarriage, just an ease in the nausea. I wanted to call my doctor today and see if I could come in early, but what should I say. Somehow, "I only puked once today and I had a dream that I was bleeding," doesn't seem like a reason that would carry much weight? Oh the dark and twisty mind I possess. I'm praying I can rest in God's peace until Wednesday, but it is a moment by moment struggle.

1 comment:

  1. If you need to, for your sanity, say you're cramping.