Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I Have Issues

After compulsively calling home to check my answering machine this morning for an hour after the doctor's office opened at 9:00 a.m., I finally called them to check my HCG results. My level on Monday was 610! I was very excited and shaky (because I was very nervous and shaky before that) and I quickly hung up. I forgot to ask when I should come back in for more blood work or an ultrasound. I called right back and they said someone will call me this afternoon with that information because my doctor won't be in until after 2:00 p.m. It's now almost 4:00 and no one's called. I'm trying not to be a pain in the butt, realizing I'm not the only patient there.

As I calculated in my head, I realize that my levels almost quadrupled in 3 days, not just doubled. My new fear? Molar pregnancy. That's right folks, after a few minutes of revelling in my good news, my mind immediately turned to what else could be wrong if it's not ectopic. I have doom and gloom issues. So now I've read several things on that topic and I'm not reassured. If it is something like that, the only thing to do is wait and see. It's too early to tell on ultrasound. So why can't I just relax and assume it's just an ordinary healthy pregnancy? It's not in my nature, and I'm just not ready to accept the possibility yet. If I do, my hopes have a lot further to fall if something happens. Time will tell I guess!

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